area 51 is just the american wizarding school
aliens is a perfect cover story
FUCK, THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE READ ALL DAY.
i’ll take my chance with aliens before i mess w/ whatever is at the bottom of the ocean
You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between
For the same reason I’m angry at most videos of sky-diving and scuba-diving dogs. Because the videos are full of laughing humans with the delighted body language of people making videos they expect to go viral, and the videos are full of dogs with the body language of a terrified, unprepared animal.
I grew up with show dogs and show horses and cats and parakeets and now live with dogs and cats and cows and 9 miniature silky fainting goats, and I’m very aware that animals have to do things that terrify them all the time. But I’m also aware that living respectfully and responsibly with these incredible creatures means that it’s my job to introduce them to a frightening or unfamiliar situation as slowly and carefully as I can, with an eye toward whatever their species needs to understand it. And it’s my job to only put them into situations like that when they need it — transportation, for instance, is bewildering to every animal, ever — or when I think that the pay-off will ultimately be rewarding for both of us (showing, swimming, walking past the blue barrel that is strangely terrifying).
In my kindest moments, I assume that the sky-diving/ scuba-diving/ zip-lining dog owners are motivated by that second impulse. They truly believe the dogs will enjoy the experience eventually. But last night I went looking for a video of a voluntarily zip-lining dog after seeing that latest gif show up on my dash. Instead I found three different videos of dogs just harnessed up and then shoved into mid-air. The result is the gif that I reblogged last night — a stiff-legged dog whose body language shouts WHAT IS HAPPENING AM I GOING TO DIE.
This is the equivalent of pushing a human off the top of a high-rise building without reassuring her that she’ll survive, and then saying, “she’ll learn to love it!”
This concludes my anger.
So in my plant class I learned that roses don’t actually have thorns, which are modified portions of the stem. Roses “thorns” are actually outgrowths of the plants epidermis, so they are properly supposed to be called prickles.
But somehow, saying “Every rose has its prickles.” just doesn’t have the same impact. (As usually if you say that to someone they will snort and laugh at the word “prickles”.)